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Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Finally Came in Handy...

Tucker peeked his head in my room around 8:04 this morning. Apparently my alarm had been going off since around 6:30. I have no idea why or how I was still in bed, but there I lay, naked, and half covered.
"Duuuuuuuude", was Tucker's word for this.
My eyes are barely open, swollen from the ridiculously short amount of time they had been closed, and I'm trying to fill in the "Do I call in?" equation.
"Is there anyway to make it there on time? How much vacation time do I have left? Have I ironed anything anyway? Do i NEED a shower? Did I shave yesterday or the day before? Have I screwed up too much this week for this to be ok with managers? Is Narcoleprosy a believable disease?"
It all hinged on my hair.

There was absolutely no time for a shave, and definitely not a shower as I had to be at work 4 minutes ago. I considered the option of rolling out of bed directly into some dress pants and a tie, yet before any of this, I had to see if it had appeared I had been sleeping. I gave myself a look in the mirror and there before me was the same looking guy I had seen the morning earlier-post shower that is. Aside from the fossil marks on my face left by the orthopedic pillow, I looked like a million bucks. My hair was perfectly unkempt and needed no further attention. No water, no shampoo, no wax/gel/mousse/snot whatever. I instantly dressed and shot out the door, hitting the Interstate less than four minutes later.

I arrive and no one seems to notice, partly because of the bank scam going on over the phone with one of our managers giving the go ahead to call the cops, but mostly because my hair looked soooo good.

It finally came in handy. Years of having church people noogie me and say, "Fergit your comb?" Ages of scrutiny from bosses, telling me it's "stylish, but un-professional". Eons of black women remarking "Yo hair look gooooood. How you git it to do dat?". It all finally paid off. Right when I needed it to, it came through. This is, of course, a landmark day for me and my hair. Usually it's position on things is complete rebuke and rebellion. Picture day in high school met with sudden cowlicks. Job interviews met with the one dangling bang that refuses to stand. First dates met with white flakes, dangling bangs and sudden cowlicks-all despite me.

I'd like to send Athena a Thank You card. Athena is the Greek woman who is responsible for the original cut. She was a goddess in more ways than one.

From the rat's nest

Andrew


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